There is a wonderful book that provides a detailed step-by-step guide: Susskind, L. (1999). The consensus building handbook: A comprehensive guide to reaching agreement. Sage Publications. You can see the short version of these steps in this document. Save it for the time you have to make significant or costly decisions. 

As you can see in the document, the proper consensus-building process takes a lot of time and efforts, and can easily extend over months or years. But what if you have to reach an agreement much faster? Below I will show an alternative way to approach decision-making that works well with small teams (fewer than 10 people) without acute conflicts. 

Before the meeting

1. Should we use consensus? Use the consensus-building procedure if you answer “yes” to all of the following statements:

• The decision affects (almost) all the partners and has a high impact.

  1. Members significantly vary in their influence (there is power asymmetry), and some groups could be disadvantaged during voting or compromise.

  2. The decision is not urgent.

  3. The discussion does not need to be confidential.
     If at least one answer is "no", consider other decision-making methods.

2. Secure funding and hire an independent facilitator if possible.

3. Appoint a recorder—a person who will keep (visual) records of the discussions.

4. Write a short conflict assessment:

1. Problem statement: What are you trying to decide on, and why might the decision-making process be long or complicated?

   1. List of all stakeholders and their interests.

   2. List all stakeholders who are not part of the discussion but may be affected.

   3. Ask for feedback from one or two people from each group of stakeholders (consider using Google Docs for anonymous editing). 

5. Based on the input, write a preliminary proposal to focus the conversation.

6. Decide on what members can and cannot do. Consider media coverage, confidentiality, how you will handle new suggestions (e.g., no rejection without discussion), etc. Will you share the notes only with the people who attend the meeting, or with others too? Who should be included in your mailing list? Will you invite experts?

7. Decide whether to meet in person, online, or in a hybrid format.

During the meeting

1. Remind attendees of key principles:

   • Always explain the reason for your disagreement.

   • Considering everyone’s interests is more important than avoiding conflicts.

   • If conflicts arise, parties should not leave the process until they do their best to resolve the conflict.

   2. Set a deadline by which consensus or an overwhelming majority agreement should be reached.

   3. Agree on whether the solution for this issue will automatically apply to similar issues in the future.

2. Present the proposal, then facilitate a brainstorming session to expand the range of proposals. No objections or criticism are allowed at this stage.

3. Evaluate new proposals using an “if-then” test: “If we include this element/solution in the final proposal, would it be a deal-breaker? Would you need adjustments to endorse it?” or variations of that.

4. Modify the proposal until all members agree that 1) they can live with the outcome; and 2) the outcome of the consensus is better for each stakeholder than what they could achieve on their own if no agreement is made. Use "Gradient of agreement" to facilitate the discussion .

   After the meeting 

1. Prepare a draft of the agreement. In addition to the agreement itself, specify the following:

   • The next steps and who is in charge.

   • Who is responsible for monitoring the implementation process.

   • What happens if parties do not fulfill their commitments or if circumstances change in a way that makes it impossible to follow these steps.

2. Distribute the draft of the agreement among participants and ask for adjustments. Request that they consult with their directors or other decision-makers in their organizations. If significant adjustments need to be made, schedule another meeting if your timeline allows.

3. After no significant changes are required, ask participants to sign the agreement (an email reply would suffice for most decisions).